This song came up in the shuffle of mp3s today, and I think it's a good prayer for where I'm at right now. I feel like my life has been in transition for years now, but for the first time I'm actually starting to see a possible clearing up ahead.
press play in the box, then read the words below, and some of my thoughts below that.
"Mansions" by Burlap to Cashmere
God of light, light me some passion.
Green fields and lovely mansions.
Let your mansions live inside me.
Love me, light me, give me, guide me.
Cross of skin and naked figure.
Broken legs and crooked fingers,
Help me live for good tomorrow,
Today's too late and full of sorrow.
Light is good and dark is evil,
But I'm running around
Through the cross and through the steeples,
Trying to make it to higher ground.
Come on light, please live beside me.
Love me, light me, give me, guide me.
Pride and hate, they live inside me.
I need your love enough to guide me.
Help me walk across these borders.
I'm a pilgrim in deep waters.
Faithful God, like faithful sunrise,
Help me break from all these old ties.
Lead me all to that is holy.
Break these chains, but break them slowly.
Some lines in particular that I like...
"...but I'm runnin' around / through the cross and through the steeples / tryin' make it to higher ground "
This speaks more to my cynicism of organized religion than anything else, and I'm trying to be less cynical so I won't go into it. too much. Only to say that I feel disillusioned by the church, even deceived. I felt that the best way to honor my commitment to God was to work in the Church, full time even, and I've since come to realize that it's just not true. I leave my job at St Luke in a little less than 2 months and I do not intend to be employed by the church ever again. Now, having said that, I will not say "no" if God calls me back. I'm just saying I don't think it will happen.
"Help me walk across these borders / I'm a pilgrim in deep waters "
well, that's pretty obvious. I am leaving the US, crossing several borders, and I will be a sort of pilgrimage for Sarah and I. We are even now realizing that this is going to take more then we have, and we will at many times be in deep, deep waters.
"Faithful God, like faithful sunrise,
Help me break from all these old ties.
Lead me all to that is holy.
Break these chains, but break them slowly."
Leaving St Luke, my job, our appartment, and eventually the country will be for us the beginning of a new chapter of life. My prayer is that we will have the strength and courage to turn the page.
"Help me live for good tomorrow / Today's too late and full of sorrow"
another prayer for the next chapter of my life. I don't feel like I've really been "living for good." I've been thinking about it, talking about it, but I haven't really started living it.
"love me light me give me guide me"
This is the Church, or what it's supposed to be, it one of the simplest and most beautiful statements I have come across. People come together to show love and ignite passion for good. then we are sent out, given to the world, and guided.
Amen.
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